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Blog: Getting Way Beneath the Stand

Ali Calladine

Empowered by a love of people, and of manifesting visionary ideas, Ali has been applying her Economics and International Development background to the...

Empowered by a love of people, and of manifesting visionary ideas, Ali has been applying her Economics and International Development background to the...

Aug 2 3 minutes read

In every CNE class, we talk about getting beneath Stands such as:

-I won’t take less than $700,000 for my house

-We’re only interested in moving to this neighbourhood

-I won’t pay more than 1% Commission

Hopefully, anyone who has taken a CNE course agrees that arguing with people about these stands usually doesn’t work in achieving a mutually beneficial outcome. If we can instead get underneath the stand and understand where it’s coming from, we have way more information to use in crafting a creative solution.

We've gotten to explore how to take this skill set further and deeper in our coach training course. In the course, we introduce a model that examines how people actions and behaviours are motivated by their thoughts and feelings; and, furthermore, how their thoughts and feelings are motivated by their mindset. For example, the above stand insisting on $700,000 could come from a huge range of thoughts. “The more I ask for the more I’ll get”, “I’ll look like a fool if I don’t get that much for my house” “We need that much to make our plans for the future work” and “All Realtors are going to try to make me undervalue my home so that their jobs will be easier” are pretty different places that a client could be coming from. By understanding their thoughts, we can help those thoughts evolve, and avoid making them more defensive by accidentally pushing against what is important to them.

What we explore in coach training is that what motivates peoples thoughts and feelings is what we refer to as mindset. Mindset is comprised of someone’s assumptions, identity, values, beliefs, past experiences, etc. and is usually less conscious than thoughts and feelings.

 If we can learn to illuminate and shift people’s mindset (this really only works when we’re doing it for their benefit, and helping them come into alignment) an entirely new world of options becomes available within negotiations, collaboration and problem solving. The easiest way there is to get good at asking questions. Next week, we're going to go into more depth about asking great questions and considering your clients and colleagues mindset.

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